Goodbye 2009

THE YEAR IN REVIEW


This year is almost over and another one is about to begin and I just want to do a quick recap, according to me.

Well, I started the year in cold sweats and realized I needed medical attention for a pressure sore. After that was taken care of, I lost the one person who I thought knew how I truly felt being disabled and all. I didn't realize the loss would affect me in the way that it did, but that only meant that he was truly a part of my life. I spent spring break in Memphis and planned on spending the summer on the coast, but that didn't happen. I went to the circus, but not the zoo. This summer a lot of famous people died and I was deeply saddened. My dad had a milestone birthday and I was able to see a lot of relatives with whom I hadn't seen in a while. I stopped chatting online, who knew that would ever happen? My friends visited and kept me in their lives. My sister had trouble breathing and I found a knot on my breast, THANK GOD HE WAS THERE TO RESOLVE THOSE ISSUES. I turned another year older and although some people didn't remember, my nephew sang "Happy Birthday" so I'm okay. We lost a great pastor, but I think we also gained a great one. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas really with family, which is rare, but was good. And last, but not least, I was reminded that I am loved by family when my New Year's tradition, unbeknownst to me, was upheld.

This was a great year and I hope and pray next year will be even better.

No Shirt Pulling Up for Her

JayCee and I are at it once again. Sometimes she likes to see just how far she can go with me, because in essence she knows I can't spank her. Well, anyway yesterday I made her lie down and take a nap. She really didn't want to but I insisted and she did go to sleep.

After waking up, we discussed her taking a nap. I told her that if she hadn't laid down, she would have gotten a spanking. She asked me who would've spanked her. I said, "either your daddy or granddaddy." She was like "they don't have a belt and my belt doesn't hurt me, you would need a big belt." I said, "granddaddy has on a belt." She went to see how big it was, but because his belt was the same color as his pants, she couldn't see it. So she comes back in the living room saying "he doesn't have a belt." I instructs her to go and pull his shirt up in the back so that she will be able to see the belt. This girl looks at me and as serious as she can says, "I'm not pulling up granddaddy's shirt, that ain't right. You don't do that."

Mama fell out laughing.

Food Makes Me Sleep

I believe that someone is crushing sleeping pills into my food. LOL, I know this is ridiculus, but for some reason for the past two weeks everytime I eat, I feel drowsy. I have been going to bed basically right after the sun sets and sleeping ALL night.

Now I'm not complaining about the amount of time that I spend sleeping because sleeping is a favorite pastime of mine, it's just a little suspicious. Is my bro "spiking" my food? I'll update you on my findings.

Why Aren't You On Your Knees?

We have family worship every morning and evening. Monday, JayCee participated, but I did not. I was in the bed in my room. After prayer, JayCee came to my room and in the most innocent voice said to me, "why didn't someone come and pick you up and put you on your knees so that you could pray?"

This caught me so off-guard and it was so innocent that I couldn't do anything but laugh.

That girl is hilarious.

Friday 5: Dairy

Hello, and welcome to this week’s Friday 5!


What are your feelings about milk? I love milk, especially if it's ice cold.

What are your feelings about cheese? Love cheese if it's not too salty...Parm isn't my fav.

What are your feelings about yogurt? I like the "whipped" version better than the creamy.

How do you feel about soy milk? I like it, but it's been a while since I've had any.

How far are you from the nearest cow? Not sure


Thanks for participating, and have a moooooooving weekend!

Find more Friday5 here.

I REALLY Will Try to do Better

I know I've been neglecting my responsibilities with this blog, but sometimes I honestly don't know or have things to write about. I will try to make it more of a priority....I promise.

The last time I wrote, it was about my excruciating back pain. To solve this problem, I started turning my bed in weird directions instead of my body. This helped along with prayer. I was prayed over and anointed at church and the pain disappeared. Iwas so relieved and happy to be pain-free. In addition to praying for my aching back, there was prayer for my healing and restoration of my spinal cord and nerves. I was not immediately healed, but I still believe that I will be healed.

Keep praying and believing.

I'm In So Much Pain

I awakened this morning in so much pain. The right side of my back is hurting so bad. It feels like a torn muscle. Now you may ask "what have I been doing to strain or tear muscles?" The only thing I know that could have caused this excruciating pain is me twisting my mid-section to either see the television or get in a comfortable position to go to sleep. Whatever the reason, this is NOT a good feeling. I just pray that this pain goes away and goes away quickly.

Hot Flashes and Such

If this is any indication of how summer will be, I'm in for some trouble. The weather over the past couple of days has been in the upper 80s and terribly miserable, in my opinion. It's not supposed to be like this at this time of the year. I don't know what this world is coming to when it's mid-April and it feels like June in this house. And although I do have a problem with the heat, it probably wouldn't be so bad if the occupants of this house would stop turning the AC off when we're here and on when we're away. How backwards is that? Whenever we decide to leave the house, some genius turns the AC on, I suppose in anticipation of our return and wanting it to be cool. But what about when we're in the house, should we just suffer or burn. Don't know what's up with that, maybe I'll ask and just maybe I'll get an answer. But anyway, I don't know what's going on with my body because I'm usually not a hot-tempered person, whatever that means.

Attacked

I was aiming to do more writing and posting this month than I had done in the past, but my out-of-town trip kind of interferred. But, I'm back and hopefully can accomplish my goal of writing more often.

The trip was taken kind of on a whim and I along with my parents visited Marchesa and his parents. I had fun, but not even 24 hours into the trip I was attacked. Not by lion, tiger, or bear, but by Marchesa. I love him but I did not appreciate the scratch he left on my temple. Next time he decides he wants a remote control, I will gladly give it up.

Anyway, the trip was okay and I had fun and most importantly, I ate good while away. That's a major bonus. Don't know when I'll return, but know Marchesa, I'll be back.

Oh, I almost forgot. I went shopping and bought some new shoes.

Friday 5: 5 Ws, Part 2

Hello, and welcome to this week’s Friday 5!

What’s something you know how to draw? nothing, can barely draw a circle
Who’s someone you could get away with impersonating? no one, I barely think I sound like myself since my trach
Where’s the stapler? at church, I believe was the last place I used it
Why will this be a great weekend? wedding and friends gathering
When are you going to make that phone call you’ve been putting off? not anytime soon

Thanks for participating, and have an unquestionably fantastic weekend!

Heel Progress

I went to the doctor yesterday and I'm glad to report that my heel wound is completely healed. The doctor and nurses were surprised and excited. I'm glad that I don't have to go anymore for my heel, but sad that I won't be seeing the doctor and nurses anymore. They are such nice and friendly people. Thanks for taking care of me.

Vanity Is the First Thing to Go

I watched Michael J. Fox on Oprah yesterday and was truly moved. He has had Parkinson's Disease for 19 years and was on the show explaining the obstacles and hurdles, as well as the triumphs he has had throughout this period in his life. As he was speaking, one thing stood out in the conversation and that was the comment made "vanity is the first thing to go." I was so shocked to hear this, but totally agreeable, that I decided to look inward and determine how I view vanity.

As I was doing my own soul searching, I realized that I really haven't let go of that feeling of worrying how outsiders view me and my disability and I realize I may be holding on, to my own detriment. This view is also affecting my life and who I may ask for assistance in helping me do tasks. I am now on a quest to let the vanity go, and do the things that I must do to improve my life and become a better and more independent person.

Another interesting thing Michael said was "failure keeps up from doing things." This hit extremely close to home. I am terrified of failure. I mean failure at anything, and this injury really has NO tolerance for fears, so I must nip this fear thing in the bud. To be honest, there are days when I feel like I haven't come to terms with my disability and this denial may affect my progress and rehabilitation because of the fear. Don't know why I'm writing about this now, but better late than never, and I'm about self-improvement.

It's NOT Laziness, It's A Spinal Cord Injury

I have been thinking about this for quite some time now, but a comment a couple of weeks ago prompted me to write about it and hopefully shed some light on those who are in the dark. And to be on the safe side, if you don't know/aren't sure what you're talking about keep your mouth closed, bite your tongue, do whatever you need to do to keep your opinion/suggestion/motivational tactic to yourself.

A few weeks ago I heard someone say that I'm not walking yet b/c I'm lazy. That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard in my life. The truth is, I'm not walking because I have a spinal cord injury. Meaning that the messages that my nerves are sending are not getting to brain. My spinal cord injury is not fiction or something I made up, it's real and just because YOU feel like or think I should be doing something based on your "expertise" or someone else's SCI condition and progress, doesn't make it true. Every one and each situation is unique and people must remember that. And I do understand that people want to help and only want the best for me, but you don't help by making fun of the adaptive equipment and things designed to help me. When I already have to deal with and adjust to so much, I shouldn't have your insensitive remarks added to that and be forced to handle that too. So, just understand, that as much as you want me to walk, know that I want it twice as much. But, I can't just tell my legs and fingers to work, I've done that on more than one occasion and got nothing. If you want to help, REALLY think about the things you say before they come out and imagine how you would feel if those same things were said to you.

Once I Get On My Feet...

I am really going to get my brother. He is always playing jokes on me and with me. All of the jokes are not bad, but some makes my desire to walk stronger. For example, Thursday after leaving out the grocery store, he rolled me into the area where the grocery carts are stored in the parking lot. I am not a grocery cart, so why would he place me there? Some joke, and to top it off, after my mom came out the store and realized where I had been placed, she started laughing. This was not funny...lol.

I have one thing to say: my brother better watch his back, once I get on my feet.

Thursday Thunk- by the Thunkers Themselves

1. What is your favorite type of soda (if you drink soda)? I don't think I have a favorite, as long as it's caffeine-free.
2. Do you believe in astrology? If so, what does your sign say about you? nope
3. Who is John Galt? I have no clue
4. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep at night? pray
5. Who's your Daddy?
6. Jelly beans or Jelly Bellies? jelly beans
7. What do you think about yellow car? Why car manufacturer actually made yellow cars? Some models are cute, but every car doesn't look good yellow.
8. Holding on or Letting go? holding on
9. What kind of underwear, if any, do you wear? comfortable, pretty ones
10. Who is your daddy and what does he do? He does whatever he wants to do
11. Spring - is it here yet?? yes/no
12. Does Google Streetview scare you? not really. I find it useful
13. What is your favorite brand of ice cream? anything but Blue Bell, that stuff's too sweet
14. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies n cream
15. Do you ever get tired of your everyday routine? definitely
16. What inspires you? children who overcome obstacles
17. It’s springtime-do you spend more time outdoors? I should
18. When do you think Bud will let us see the DVD of him and the french twins? Huh?
19. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you, and why? Not really sure, but I'm certain I'd stay in the US, just a different state
20. Why do you blog? To help me remember things, lol
21. What are electrolytes and why are they good for us? You should go back to school.
22. Do you twitter? Why or why not? No, I even hate texting.
23. What did you dream last night? Trust me, you do not want to know.
24. What is the strangest thing you've eaten? I don't eat weird things.
25. What was the last picture that you took? The new Cowboys stadium
26. what is your favorite part of spring? the rain
27. what is one thing that you did this past week that no one knows about?
28. What kind of bandages do you typically have in your household? all types, it's like a hospital in here

I Should Sell My Blood and Urine on the Street

I've been writing about my doctor visits and how they've been going and everything, but nothing prepared me for this. In January I went to see my doctor and got a nurse instead. It was okay because she was really nice. But anyway, I got the bill from that office visit and it was $600.00. "What is wrong with these people", was my first thought. I called the business office because I knew there had to be a mistake, I hadn't done anything there besides give blood and pee in a cup. I talked to the representative and was informed that this was no mistake, they were indeed charging me 600.00 for "lab work". That lab work included testing blood and urine. I'm totally shocked. Who would've thought that blood and urine would cost sooo much. At this price, I should be selling my clean urine on the street. This is ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense.

The Sweating Stopped

I went to the doctor about 3 weeks ago to check on things and figure out why I was constantly sweating. I go to my check-up and am told that because I've been sweating and having pain in my hip, I'm going to need a bone scan to make sure everything's okay. In addition to the bone scan, I was told I had skin breakdown on my heels and to fix this, I would be referred to a wound doctor.



I went to the wound doctor and the sore was debred, don't know where that word comes from. Basically, the hard, dead skin was scraped off and that night I didn't sweat. AMEN. I've been going to the wound center for about 3 weeks now and my heel is healing and I'm soooo thankful and happy.

One extra note: The nurses at the wound center are the nicest nurses ever.

Doctors, Doctors, Doctors

I've said before that I HATE, HATE, HATE going to the doctor, hospital, or anyplace of that nature. Yesterday I went to the doctor to check on this sweating that has been happening. Well, what do you know, I didn't see my neurosurgeon, but rather a nurse practitioner and I must say she was extremely nice and I may have found a new doctor..lol.

Well, after seeing the doctor, I found out today that I have even more doctor to go to. Because I can't tell if something is hurting on me, tests are needed to confirm that I'm healthy and okay. I now have bone scans and other tests scheduled for later this week. I'm not scared or anything, which is surprising. I just want to find out why I've been sweating and get my heel healed. I also had blood work done and I found out the best needle for me, the butterfly.

I hope everything's okay with me and this has taught me to pay close attention to my body and when something changes, take note and get it checked out.

Therapy Ends, Motivation Kicks In

There are so many things that I want to do on my own, but find them quite difficult or sometimes virtually impossible. But today after talking with my therapist, I have a renewed interest in trying out a couple things. Things designed to make me a more independent, self-reliant person. Because independence is so important to me, I feel that the more independent I am, the happier I'll be.

My therapy ended today, so I was curious as to what I could continue to do on my own and Becky provided me with a lot of information. I am definitely excited to try the exercises, I just hope the fam is willing to assist. You see, my family gets on me about not doing things or not trying or wanting to do new things, but then they get irritated when disturbed. I'm like, "I can't win." How can you insist I be as independent as possible, but you get mad when I want to try something and need your help? I think I'm going to disregard all the negativity and do what's best for me. I'm ready and excited about my life and things to come.

Side note: my emotions are like a roller coaster.

10 spinal injury patients in CA will start a trial this summer with embryonic stem cells.

I'm So Far From Normal

It's 4 o'clock in the morning and instead of sleeping like a normal person, I'm wide awake. Why you ask? Because of pain. My back is hurting so bad and my fingers feel like they're getting tighter every minute. I don't know why my fingers are feeling like this, but I hope it ends soon.

On another note: I don't think I'm crazy or anything, but it feels like something is terribly wrong with my hip bone. I think something's growing near the place where my bone graft is located. It just feels different to me, but my mom thinks I'm crazy. As I write about this, I do suddenly feel a little off. Hope it's nothing.

I'm Late....As Usual

I know it's a bit late, but this is my first post of '09, so I must say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! Last year went by extremely fast, in my opinion, but I'm glad it's over with and into another one. I must say, this year kinda got off to a rough start for me and I'm only eight days in. Now, if I can't do anything, I think I can tolerate pain. I mean, I usually hurt daily, but without complaint. But, I hope these past few days isn't an indicator for what's ahead for me this year.

For starters, my wisdom teeth decided to make an appearance this year, and we all know how painful a toothache is. I mean I was hurting so badly that I called for a dentist. This even surprised me, but that is what pain will do to you.

I also was tricked because I thought that if I started back taking my medicine, I would stop all this weird sweating that's doing a number on my hair. But noooo, I'm still sweating and in essence, going to the beauty shop in vain. But I did make an appointment and hopefully two weeks from now, I'll know why I've been sweating and ended it, too.

I know I haven't written much, but I'm tired now. I'll be back real soon.